Alanna - Guerilla Pumper

I started out careful as can be with my pumping. In a private office, with a picture of the baby, spotlessly clean pumping horns, medela bottles at hand to receive the liquid gold. This lasted maybe two weeks.

First to go was the picture of the baby. In the beginning, I’d gaze at his photograph and remember nursing in vivid detail. I’d picture nursing him snuggled into a comfy chair, or in the morning in bed. But one stressful day I found myself focusing on a grant application that was due, and it didn’t affect my milk production in the slightest. After that, I used my pumping time to think about work problems I didn’t normally have time to work through.

Next were the clean pumping horns. My private office was not my own, and the bathroom was out three doors and down the hall. Packing everything into a bag, taking it to the bathroom, and washing all my gear took time. I somehow fell out of the habit of washing the equipment. Ever. I’d smell it from time to time, and while there was a faint sour smell, it never seemed all that bad. And the baby never seemed to have a problem with the flavor of the milk I pumped with my scummy equipment.

Then I lost my pumping space. We finally hired a director, and that director needed the office space. I was in an open plan office; we didn’t even have cubicles. I ended up in the windowless store room. The IT guy kindly cleared a space big enough for me to stand in, with a stack of boxes to put my pump on.

Finally, it was the bottles. One morning, I forgot my empty bottles to pump into. I realized I poured the milk into milk bags for storage anyhow. Why not pump straight into them? Over time, I also pumped into clean, empty soda bottles, Ziploc freezer bags, and Tupperware containers with a good seal.

My son always took his bottle with pleasure, and I always managed to pump enough milk to keep him exclusively breastfed. He was extremely healthy baby, and he was breastfed until age two. His milk might have been produced under ludicrous and unsanitary conditions, but it was good milk, and as much of it as he needed.