Cara Mama

This post was contributed by Cara, of Cara Mama. She is also the winner of the launch contest, and a $50 gift certificate to Restaurant.com. Second and third prize are still available, and the comment contest is still open, so get your stories in!

My breastfeeding story actually begins with my sister's story. My sister had her daughter during the time I was having enough trouble trying to conceive that I thought I'd just be lucky to have a child and didn't worry about how I'd feed the child. My mom gave us frmula (which was what was recommended at that time), and we turned out fine so I didn't see the need to worrying about how my child was feed or the need to struggle if breastfeeding didn't happen easily. But after watching my sister, the first person I really knew who breastfed her child, my feelings changed.

My sister approached breastfeeding as she does everything else she sets her mind to--with a single-minded determinedness, backed up with research and finding support systems. Prior to giving birth, she and her husband went to the hospital's breastfeeding class, read countless books, and noted the times of the hospital's breastfeeding support group and the local La Leche League meetings. Once her daughter was born, they took advantage of all these supports, as well as finally having a lactation consultant come to their house to help figure out what was wrong.

After a very difficult first few weeks of breastfeeding, my sister learned that the latch which looked right wasn't really right. With help, she figured out how to get the latch completely correct, which allowed her cracked nipples to heal. Continuing to follow the LC's advice, she went to her doctor to get medication to truly treat the systemic thrush that had developed in her milk ducts. Finally, the breastfeeding improved dramatically, becoming a painless process in which they were able to share a very special relationship.

At one point, when my sister broke down (once again) in sobs about how hard and painful it was, I had suggested that it would be okay if she wanted to stop trying. I only made the suggestion lightly and otherwise supported her as best I could. And as I said, my sister is a determined person. She felt she could succeed--she knew she could succeed. And she found the right support and kept at it until she did. She also told me the importance of believing she could do it and having a husband who supported her completely. I quickly learned that other people who were urging her to stop only made it harder to overcome her troubles.

A year later when I had my own daughter, I realized my attitude had changed after watching my sister's struggles and successes, and simply watching her while she breastfed. I wanted that. I could make that happen. There was no reason to doubt that I could, so I was going to be determined do it like my sister had been. My husband and I read the books, went to the class, noted the times of support meetings. And I had my sister five minutes away and an even quicker phone call away.

After a long labor, an unplanned C-section and 1.5 hours in a recovery room alone, I was finally reunited with my daughter in the room where we'd stay for the next three days. I couldn't wait to get her in my arms. Within seconds of when my husband gave her to me, I didn't even think about what I was doing. I just opened my gown and put her to my breast. There was no conscious thought, no "oh, I better try breastfeeding," no gentle reminder from anyone. I did this purely on instinct. And she started suckling immediately, purely on instinct.

Later I would joke with friends and family that I was glad one of us knew what we were doing--my daughter who seemed to be a natural. We had no latch issues, no problem finding the right position, nothing that hindered our instant breastfeeding. I knew I was lucky and that it wasn't always this easy for others, especially since I'd seen my sister's troubles. Even though my nipples were sore from this new experience for the first 4 weeks (when I was told they would be sore only 1-2 weeks), it was still wonderful and pretty easy. When the discomfort went away, it was beautiful.

And then, less that 2 months into breastfeeding, I started having shooting pains each time my daughter would start nursing. Fortunately, I had my sister's experience to learn from, and with similar symptoms I quickly realized (and had the doctor confirm) I had thrush. After trying the medications my doctor first prescribed, it did not clear up for me. After a few weeks of dealing with thrush that wouldn't clear up, I was full of doubts and in a great deal of pain. I cried to my husband that I wasn't sure I could continue. Knowing how important it was to me, my husband suggested I use the support networks I had and keep trying to find the right treatment. Most importantly, he said I should give it one more day and see how I felt the next day. He told me that every day, for over a week. He told me that until things got better.

I went to my sister, who told me what her LC said to do. I spoke up at an LLL meeting and listended to the knowledgeable women there. I called my doctor back and insisted on the same, aggressive treatment my sister used. My doctor wasn't sure, until I confidently told him that LLL recommended this treatment, and I could hear the respect in his voice when said, "La Leche League recommended this? Well, let's give it a try." Within two weeks of being on the medication, it finally cleared up. Breastfeeding became a beautiful experience once again.

I also had a great deal of difficulty with pumping when I went back to work after 3 months of leave. But at this point, we had a well-established breastfeeding relationship and I knew I could keep trying ways to make the pumping better and take it one day at a time. The pump and my nipples never did get along, but I found ways to make it better. I was able to pump until my daughter was 12 months old. After that, we gave her cow's milk while I was at work. But when I was at home, I continued to breastfeed easily and painlessly until my daughter was about 18 months old.

I know not everyone is able to breastfeed at all or for that long. There are some problems that are simply insurmountable or too much for a person to handle. Some women even simply choose not to breastfeed because, for whatever reason, it's not right for them. Formula is a great invention that keeps babies and families healthy and happy. I would never look down on another mother for using formula. I know other mothers have had it much tougher than I have, and I'm not in their shoes. Each mother and family has to decide what is best for them and their family.

I learned from my sister's and my own experiences that breastfeeding isn't easy. But in many cases, the right attitude, the right support and determination really can make it happen. I now believe that when deciding how to feed a baby, breastfeeding should be the natural starting point. It is what a mother's body is designed to do, even if it's not always a smooth path. I believe that everyone should realize that breastfeeding is the normal, natural way to feed a baby.

If we all start with that attitude, we are more likely to see it through and overcome the obstacles. We are more likely to watch other women and learn from them. We are more likely to seek out help and networks of support to help us through. We are more likely to succeed with breastfeeding overall. We are more likely to take it one day at a time until we've seen it through.